Ignore Him After Five Minutes: Refusing to be wowed easily will send the message that not only are you not pressuring him, but you may even be slightly out of reach. "Because men are biologically hardwired to be competitive,
they need to feel like they're making the choice to be with you and then working toward winning you over," says John Amodeo, PhD, author of The Authentic Heart. "You need to give a guy the space to do that." Instead of focusing on him, pay just as much (and, at times, even more) attention to others around you, advises clinical psychologist Belisa Vranich, PsyD, author of He's Got Potential.
And when he mentions having done something undeniably awesome, like studying abroad, resist the urge to gush about how amazing that must have been. Play it cool by maintaining a low-key tone, and challenge him to prove how smart he is by saying "That's a curious choice. What made you decide to go there?" By questioning him (instead of going all awestruck), you'll trigger his competitive instincts.
Be Comfortable in Your Skin: It doesn't matter how drop-dead sexy your outfit is. If you're not confident about and comfortable with your body, a guy can tell and be turned off in a matter of minutes. "If you move with confidence and sensuality, it's a sign that you're going to be just as confident and sensual in the bedroom," Vranich says, "which squashes any worries he might have that he's going to date a hot girl only to find out she's never in the mood."
Show Off Your Playful Side: Okay, so you probably already know that guys go gaga for fun girls and steer clear of chicks who seem uptight. But you'll never guess why. "A lot of guys are afraid that the second they commit to a girl, they'll turn into one of those couples who fight all the time," Kirschner says. A playful attitude shows him you have a sense of humor, and he assumes that any woman who laughs easily is going to be a helluva lot more pleasant to break out the boxing gloves with.
"Being playful shows that you can reframe bad things in a positive light and laugh at them, not get too worked up about them," Vranich says. If he's wearing a goofy shirt, tease him about it. Or if you spill your wine or say something stupid, laugh it off instead of freezing up.
Talk About What You Really Love: That initial conversation you have with him is the perfect time to mention that you just went to your first foreign-film festival or have suddenly become obsessed with running or cooking or whatever. You'll simultaneously be clueing him in to what you like and putting one of men's biggest relationship fears to rest: boredomphobia. "Men are looking for excitement, they're looking for high energy, they're looking for passion in a relationship," Kirschner says. "So they're inherently more attracted to someone who's thrilled to try new things."
Don't hold back when it comes to what you love. He'll be wowed by your enthusiasm even if he couldn't care less about your obsession.
Cosmopolitan
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