There are reasons galore why men pull wool over the eyes of their wives. Oftentimes, it's out of spite and neglect, while the other times, it's because they feel they will never be caught.
What makes men cheat? Dr Kamal
Khurana, relationship counselor, dug through past research on male infidelity,
and has even counseled couples and has arrived at the conclusion that most
answers are from the wife's point of view. Here, some of his findings:
1. Disturbance in the marriage
as the primary reason: When there are regular fights at home
with his wife, which are left unresolved, a pattern sets in wherein he
continues to be unhappy and 'disturbed'. In this kind of a scenario, either he
can fight or he can flee. When he looks for an affair, he is looking to flee
from dealing with the issues in the marriage, and be comfortable with that
'other person'. It is telling oneself that the problems do not affect anyone
and life can continue in a better way with a parallel support.
2. Cheating men report boredom
led to the affair: Some men may find the routine of a
married life to be tedious and dull. These men find it easier to shift
dominance or primacy to another relationship and feel the spark outside to be a
thrilling option; instead of finding ways of charging their marriage. It
becomes present moment for gratification versus the hard job that they will
have to do in their marriage to resolve an issue. The extra-marital
relationship provides them with a readymade and fresh experience, which is
appealing enough to take the risk.
3. Cheating men love to experiment séxually: Séx
has always been and will always be an integral part of a marriage. While some
men are quite content spending the rest of their lives having séx with the same
wife for many years, others prefer to experiment more as a need, rather than as
an option. They want to sleep with many women, many times, and therefore do not
think twice before an extra-marital alliance. It perhaps makes them feel
séxually powerful and more adept than others.
4. Cheating men are emotionally
dissatisfied: When their wives are too busy with their own lives,
working or bringing up children or even looking after in-laws and parents,
emotionally, men are left high and dry. But men are emotionally driven beings
too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want
women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right. Most men
consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional
needs are often overlooked. Sometimes the couple may not be compatible so however
much the wife may do, the man will always find something to complain about. It
may also happen that the woman he cheats with is his co-worker or boss, someone
who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts. That's another
reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home.
5. Cheating men have a history
of EMR: Some men, in their childhood, may have witnessed cheating
in their parent's marriage. This somewhere gives them a message that it is okay
to cheat, even though deep inside they know this is wrong. All of us learn from
our parents, so taking the risk is good enough. This acquired learning also
happens through cheating resorts taken by elder siblings, neighbours, peer
group and everybody who has been impacted. Sometimes as teenagers and young
adults, some men have had multiple relationships, these men either
intentionally or accidentally end up going back to their ex-girlfriends. The
other lot goes back to their past style of having multiple relationships. It is
well said, what a mind thinks, achieves. So there are females also who are
either consciously or unconsciously looking for such men.
6. Cheating men have wives who
cheat: Men also take revenge with their cheating wives, by having
multiple relationships themselves. Even if their wives are guilty and come
accept their extra-marital relationships, some men continue with their tricks.
This is mostly done by men who don't want to forgive their spouses.
7. Cheating men think it to be
'divorce': Some men are willfully adulterous and use it as a means
for acquiring divorce. The law also considers adultery as a fair ground for the
wife to seek a divorce. The man is cheating openly and is in a non-receptive
mood, taking the wife's feelings of frustration to an all-time high. Although
this percentage is less but it is there.
8. Cheating men need to be
needed: When men feel that they are not needed by their wife
anymore, they look out for some other woman, who can understand them and make
them feel special. As an obvious outcome of a new relationship, they get that
feeling from the other woman. And suddenly when they are showered with
attention, which they haven't received in a very long time in their marriage,
they toss their hands in the air and get deep into the new hot and happening
relationship.
Source: Times Of India
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