For the doubting Thomas, a night in
my area will do the same job those holes in Jesus’ palms and side did. On
certain days of the week, ears are assaulted by verbal wars against demons of
unbelievable kinds and the enemies that direct them. Definitely, on Fridays,
kiss sleep farewell.
You still do not get me? The five churches in my area have decided that
the weapons of their warfare are carnal. So public address systems connected to
creaky amplifiers are on maximum volume. Add the noise from power generating
sets to the mix and you have to pity these demons, because how they manage to
retain their identities in the din and confusion is a feat. They are constantly
subjected to ‘kill,’ ‘die,’ ‘fire,’ and ‘redirect.’
Some nights, about two or three of the churches, whether by accident or
design, go into demon battles simultaneously. That is when I picture all the
demons dying off from constant collision with one another, considering the
barrage of missiles from competing voices. But since the vigils still hold on
schedule, the demons must be surviving on the principle of fission: hit
split-up, hit split-up. No end. So the battles continue.
Meanwhile, the perceived enemy has gone to hustle for the day after a
quiet one-on-one with God. But the warriors must rest and prepare for another
showdown or, when they go to work, perform below capacity. Aliko Dangote? I
have not digressed at all.
To say Dangote is a wonderful and adventurous businessman, is stating
the obvious. But no, he has not diversified into demon packaging and
distribution. Just that right now, he is the only reason all the churches in my
area should go into over-drive in battling demons. I will not mind one bit.
This time, I will gladly supply the name of the offending demon:
electricity-sabotaging demon!
If the power project he is spearheading ‘makes sense,’ a revolution
would have started. Ten kobo will begin to buy lollypop again and my barber,
who took another look at my head and began to charge N300 will repent. N300! In
Egan! Where is that? Exactly the point. Even the state government does not
know. Dangote must succeed. The new owners of privatised PHCN? I do not trust
them. Not yet.
But I doubt if these warriors remember Dangote in their prayers. They
are too busy. At the camps that infest the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, church
workers sweep up used condoms the mornings after vigils. Some fight
anti-marriage demons, while others move around in search of miracles. A
sub-group are so concerned about making heaven, they destroy the earth. No
wonder God kept the location of the Garden of Eden secret.
‘Christian’ means Christ-follower. And Jesus re-fired himself by going
up a mountain at intervals. Afterward, He simply speaks and all obey. Speak,
not shout. He once went up the mountain with some of His disciples. When they
saw how demons were really taken care of, they asked Jesus to allow them stay
up there. Selfish demons!
I do not know Islam’s take on demon bursting. I would have to ask my
colleague, Ishola Haroon Balogun, but make him talk to me in English, his
smooth Arabic frightens me.
Meanwhile, my landlady has cut down a vital source of free Vitamin C – a
pawpaw tree – close to my door. The offence? Demons gather on the tree every
night. While pawpaw demons caused her sleepless nights of binding and casting,
they were bats that informed me of very fat, rich, yellow fruits ready for
plucking!
It is just my opinion.
Vanguard
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