She grew up like most teenage girls
in Britain – coveting the latest fashions, experimenting with make-up and
hanging out with her mates after school.
Her Muslim parents, who ran a shop,
were respected members of the community. Ayesha, whose name we have changed to
protect her identity, was always encouraged to follow her dream of becoming a
police officer.
But immediately she turned 18, she
was taken on a family holiday to Pakistan – and her carefree life would never
be the same again.
Days after arriving, she was forced
by her father and two uncles into marrying a stranger.
Terrifyingly, it led to her being
trapped in a marriage for four-and-a-half years, during which she was routinely
defiled.
When she dared to complain, she was
threatened by her uncles. And when she tried to flee, they tracked her down and
tried to kill her.
Ayesha eventually escaped, and today
bravely tells her story to expose the growing problem of forced arranged
marriages that is sweeping our towns and cities.
Each year 10,000 take place in the
UK, and last month a shocking ITV documentary caught 12 Muslim clerics agreeing
to marry off girls aged only 14.
Those youngsters who put up a fight
often fall victim to honour-based violence, which can end in murder. even now
Ayesha lives in hiding to protect herself.
As part of her campaign to raise
awareness, she works with the police to help support other victims. Ayesha, now
36, says she enjoyed a “pretty normal school life”. She adds: “My parents were
strict about not being allowed to mix with boys, go clubbing, have sleepovers
or bare my legs. But apart from that I had a relaxed upbringing.”
She reveals how aged 17 she begged
to be allowed to live in a flat-share while attending college.
“My parents finally gave in,” she
says. “I went to the pub, had a drink and smoked, but didn’t go off the rails.
Then things started to get weird.
“My uncle started turning up on my
doorstep, saying I was bringing shame on our family. He said that if I ever
left, he had a network of people and he would find me and kill me.
“I didn’t want to live the life of
an Asian Muslim girl. I was British and I wanted to be just like everyone else…
so I ran.”
But her family used a series of
tricks to find her. “First they reported me to the police for theft,” she says.
“Police turned up and alerted my
family to my location. When I moved again, my uncles used my national insurance
number to find me. They would turn up on my doorstep with death threats and
blackmail.”
After months of harassment, Ayesha
was so scared she went home. “That’s when I realised I was in even more
danger,” she says. “My uncle tried to strangle me. My parents stood silently
and watched him hurt and threaten me.”
Months later, in 1996, came the
holiday to Pakistan. She says: “Loads of family started turning up telling me I
should marry this man I’d never met. I was terrified. I realised there was no
way I was going home unless I agreed to marry.”
She tells how it took a year for her
new husband to get his visa to join her in the UK. Meantime she travelled back
and forth.
“Our married life was hideous,” she
says. “I was defiled for the whole four-and-a-half years. He beat me,
controlled and manipulated me. I felt worthless.”
When Ayesha dared rebel against her
husband, her parents chillingly warned her: “Apologise or get divorced and
marry an old man. You’re damaged goods now and no one else will want you.”
It was the final straw and she even
attempted suicide. Luckily she was talked out of it by a friend.
She fled and made the decision never
to contact her family again. But within days they had tracked her down to a
friend’s house.
She tells how in November 2000, her
uncles tried to kill her by ramming her car off the road.
Police were called and her husband
and uncles were arrested on charges of attempted murder.
The charges were later dropped as
police believed the family’s story that they feared she had been kidnapped and
were trying to save her.
Six months later Ayesha moved away,
met a new partner and they set up home together. But she says: “I slept with a
knife under my pillow.”
She had no contact with her family
for many years until in 2008 she learned that her grandmother had cancer. She
got back in touch and now has limited contact with her parents.
But they have no idea where she
lives, and she says her new partner wants nothing to do with them. Through it
all, though, the family bonds are still strong – so much so that Ayesha is now
even considering donating a kidney to her father, who is on the transplant
list.
She says: “My partner doesn’t
understand how I can even think about helping my dad after all that happened
but I have had to forgive to stop the nightmares.”
As well as assisting the police,
Ayesha is now also working with Karma Nirvana, a charity which helps victims
like herself.
“When I made the call to them, I
felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders,” she explains.

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