“He killed me.”
The
man in question was her lover – today branded by her grieving family as
a jealous and abusive monster who they say destroyed her
self-confidence, used her as a punchbag and even burned her with an
iron.
And when Carla, 22, plucked up the courage to leave him he followed her across Europe and attacked her – taking her back under his reign of terror and driving her to hang herself to escape him, her sister Terri claims.
Now Terri, 27, is battling to win justice for Carla. She took text messages sent between the pair about the abuse to police as evidence before Carla’s inquest returned a narrative verdict.
“You bullied me and put me here to live my life in total fear. Not nice, not nice at all, you’ll never leave me and 999 you know I won’t call,” read one sent just days before her death.
But the police can do nothing – because she was so afraid of her boyfriend she never filed a complaint.
And when Carla, 22, plucked up the courage to leave him he followed her across Europe and attacked her – taking her back under his reign of terror and driving her to hang herself to escape him, her sister Terri claims.
Now Terri, 27, is battling to win justice for Carla. She took text messages sent between the pair about the abuse to police as evidence before Carla’s inquest returned a narrative verdict.
“You bullied me and put me here to live my life in total fear. Not nice, not nice at all, you’ll never leave me and 999 you know I won’t call,” read one sent just days before her death.
But the police can do nothing – because she was so afraid of her boyfriend she never filed a complaint.
So Terri is campaigning along with national domestic violence charity
Refuge and the Sunday Mirror for perpetrators of domestic abuse to be
held responsible for the suicide of their victims.
“I want the law to be changed,” she says. “Not just for Carla but for all the other victims and their families.
“After a year of physical and mental torture, my sister was desperate. He broke her down until she felt she was worth nothing and couldn’t take it any longer.
“That’s what killed my sister. He might as well have murdered her. He killed her and I want him to pay. He destroyed her and now he is walking free. It’s not right.”
Terri reveals how the once-bubbly DJ and charity worker’s life was changed forever after she met the man, who is not being named, in a Liverpool club.
“I’ve never seen her fall so hard and fast,” she says. “They were obsessed, but it seemed like an odd coupling.
“Carla told me he had asked her to keep it secret for the first few months because he had enemies who would try to ruin it.
“I now know they were people who knew two previous girlfriends he had been abusive to. He’d made one shave her head and emotionally abused the other so badly she moved to a different country.”
Terri says Carla soon began to change. “She used to be sociable and had bags of confidence,” she says. “She was always busy with her jobs as a DJ and a receptionist and still found time to feed the homeless at weekends and do things for charity like abseiling down a skyscraper.
“But when she started seeing him she became withdrawn and I saw much less of her – so did her friends. It soon became clear he was controlling her.”
“I want the law to be changed,” she says. “Not just for Carla but for all the other victims and their families.
“After a year of physical and mental torture, my sister was desperate. He broke her down until she felt she was worth nothing and couldn’t take it any longer.
“That’s what killed my sister. He might as well have murdered her. He killed her and I want him to pay. He destroyed her and now he is walking free. It’s not right.”
Terri reveals how the once-bubbly DJ and charity worker’s life was changed forever after she met the man, who is not being named, in a Liverpool club.
“I’ve never seen her fall so hard and fast,” she says. “They were obsessed, but it seemed like an odd coupling.
“Carla told me he had asked her to keep it secret for the first few months because he had enemies who would try to ruin it.
“I now know they were people who knew two previous girlfriends he had been abusive to. He’d made one shave her head and emotionally abused the other so badly she moved to a different country.”
Terri says Carla soon began to change. “She used to be sociable and had bags of confidence,” she says. “She was always busy with her jobs as a DJ and a receptionist and still found time to feed the homeless at weekends and do things for charity like abseiling down a skyscraper.
“But when she started seeing him she became withdrawn and I saw much less of her – so did her friends. It soon became clear he was controlling her.”
The first worrying signs emerged last May when Terri persuaded Carla
to bring him over for tea. She says: “As soon as they arrived, Carla
looked upset. He ordered her upstairs and followed her.
“I could hear him shouting at her in a bedroom and there were sounds of a scuffle so I ran up. I asked him if he had hit her but he just smiled and said, ‘of course not’. But I could see Carla was crying and then they left.” The next day, Carla told her sister he had hit her and continued his attack when they got home, forcing her to defend herself with scissors.
“I was shocked and urged her to leave him, says Terri. “But then I realised it wasn’t the first time. She told me she couldn’t because she loved him.”
It was the start of a cycle of abuse that led Terri to beg her only sister to leave again and again. “She turned up at my house in a polo neck in summer,” says Terri. I made her take it off and saw a huge burn mark on her forearm, the shape of an iron. It was like he had branded her. She burst into tears and I begged her not to go home, but she kept saying she loved him.”
When her 22nd birthday came around, Carla finally plucked up the courage to break away. “She called me to say it was over and she was going to go abroad with friends for her birthday,” says Terri. “I was so happy. But a few days later I got a hysterical call.
“Her boyfriend found out about the trip and booked himself a place. He attacked her and I paid for her to fly back but as soon as she got home, she went back to him and it all started over again. I told her I would pay for a ticket anywhere in the world just to get her away. She told me he had burnt her passport to stop her leaving again.”
Terri saw her sister for the last time a week before she died last August.
“I could hear him shouting at her in a bedroom and there were sounds of a scuffle so I ran up. I asked him if he had hit her but he just smiled and said, ‘of course not’. But I could see Carla was crying and then they left.” The next day, Carla told her sister he had hit her and continued his attack when they got home, forcing her to defend herself with scissors.
“I was shocked and urged her to leave him, says Terri. “But then I realised it wasn’t the first time. She told me she couldn’t because she loved him.”
It was the start of a cycle of abuse that led Terri to beg her only sister to leave again and again. “She turned up at my house in a polo neck in summer,” says Terri. I made her take it off and saw a huge burn mark on her forearm, the shape of an iron. It was like he had branded her. She burst into tears and I begged her not to go home, but she kept saying she loved him.”
When her 22nd birthday came around, Carla finally plucked up the courage to break away. “She called me to say it was over and she was going to go abroad with friends for her birthday,” says Terri. “I was so happy. But a few days later I got a hysterical call.
“Her boyfriend found out about the trip and booked himself a place. He attacked her and I paid for her to fly back but as soon as she got home, she went back to him and it all started over again. I told her I would pay for a ticket anywhere in the world just to get her away. She told me he had burnt her passport to stop her leaving again.”
Terri saw her sister for the last time a week before she died last August.
“She looked terrible. Her face was drawn. Her boyfriend had told her
all her voluntary work was just for show and that she was a bad person.
“He’d got inside her head. She said, ‘I don’t know who I am any more.’ He’d ripped up half her clothes because he was jealous of how she liked to dress. I begged her again to break it off, but she said, ‘I feel dead with him and dead without him’.” A few days later those words came back to haunt Terri. She was at work in Boots when her dad came to tell her what had happened.
“I knew as soon as I saw her in hospital she wasn’t going to make it,” says Terri. “She looked so small and weak – all the life gone. I watched as the doctors stopped working on her and cried.”
Now the family’s only chance of justice is if the government takes action to enable the prosecution of people like Carla’s partner. Every day in the UK, 30 women attempt suicide as a result of domestic violence. Each week, three take their own lives to escape abuse. Refuge chief Sandra Horley said: “I am deeply saddened by Carla’s death, but her story is all too common. That’s why the Government needs to recognise ‘liability for suicide’ in the legal system.”
For now, even Carla’s suicide notes count for nothing but a reminder of the hell she endured. On the door she wrote: “He killed me. I won’t take the love I’ve got for him with me. I’m letting go.”
And a crumpled one left in a bin in her one-bed flat said: “Already dead… He killed me. No more pain, no more pain, no more pain.”
Terri says: “I won’t rest until we get justice for her.”
Culled from The UK Mirror
“He’d got inside her head. She said, ‘I don’t know who I am any more.’ He’d ripped up half her clothes because he was jealous of how she liked to dress. I begged her again to break it off, but she said, ‘I feel dead with him and dead without him’.” A few days later those words came back to haunt Terri. She was at work in Boots when her dad came to tell her what had happened.
“I knew as soon as I saw her in hospital she wasn’t going to make it,” says Terri. “She looked so small and weak – all the life gone. I watched as the doctors stopped working on her and cried.”
Now the family’s only chance of justice is if the government takes action to enable the prosecution of people like Carla’s partner. Every day in the UK, 30 women attempt suicide as a result of domestic violence. Each week, three take their own lives to escape abuse. Refuge chief Sandra Horley said: “I am deeply saddened by Carla’s death, but her story is all too common. That’s why the Government needs to recognise ‘liability for suicide’ in the legal system.”
For now, even Carla’s suicide notes count for nothing but a reminder of the hell she endured. On the door she wrote: “He killed me. I won’t take the love I’ve got for him with me. I’m letting go.”
And a crumpled one left in a bin in her one-bed flat said: “Already dead… He killed me. No more pain, no more pain, no more pain.”
Terri says: “I won’t rest until we get justice for her.”
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